Dream Alchemist

Tips to activate the Law of Attraction for women.

Archive for toxic relationships

Break free from attachment

TODAY’S TIP

Attachment is an energy knot that ties you emotionally and energetically to the past, blocking your Personal Freedom and your capacity to manifest your dreams. Find out how to break it below.

PRIMARY ATTACHMENT

Attachment is first created during your socialization –childhood and youth– when your Primary Identity or primary needs are emotionally linked to a particular belief or set of circumstances.

An example of this would be if you learned from your family’s dynamics that you must sacrifice your own desires to be accepted. In this case you are attached to self-sacrifice.

See below for solutions.

SECONDARY ATTACHMENT

Attachment can also be created later on in your adult life when you give away your Personal Power to another person or conditions. This also ties up your energy chords, holding you hostage of that to which you have given away your power.

The classic example of Secondary Attachment is when you give away your Personal Power to your love partner, believing that you are nothing without him or her. You allow humiliation, betrayal and abuse because of this belief.

It is often the case that below the surface of a Secondary Attachment, you will find a Primary Attachment. In the case above, you may find out in your healing process that there is a childhood belief like the one in the first section, where you sacrifice yourself to be loved.

See solutions below.

SOUL INSULT

Finally, if a piece of your Soul is hidden or stolen by trauma, this also creates an attachment because that part of you cannot grow or move on. It is a prisoner of the set of beliefs, emotions and circumstances that insult or injured it, and it cannot leave the place of hiding.

An example of this is if as a child you were shame at a moment when your mother or father had died. A part of you may have hidden in the coffin with your dead parent in order to escape what you perceived at that time as an injury because you were an orphan.

See solutions below.

SOLUTIONS

Break free from Primary Attachment

To break free from Primary Attachment, you need to practice emotional detachment until you know how to energetically and emotionally remove yourself from certain conditions, gathering your Personal Power onto yourself without fear of losing your Primary Identity. Once you master this tool, then you need to apply to the past, persons or social scripts that you have confused with your Primary Identity or that are keeping you from taking care of your primary needs.

RESOURCE: The Unstuck Yourself and Flourish Home Study Course is an intensive, 3-months work out that helps you detach from the past and assume your Personal Power. Read more.

Break free from Secondary Attachment

To break free from Secondary Attachment, you need to place distance between you and the person or conditions to which you’ve given away your power. Then you begin to retrieve each particular aspect of your Personal Power that you gave away. You also need to nurture your self-love and to parent the Wounded Children behind the Secondary Attachment (in the Primary Attachment beneath it) through Self-parenting.

RESOURCE: The Self-mothering Kit helps you mother your Wounded Children and summon your Warrior Mother to be able to make strong decisions for yourself. Read more.

Break free from Soul Insult

To break free from Soul Insult, you need to go through a Soul Retrieval Journey. This can be done with the guidance of a shaman or healer, a qualified hypnotherapist or therapist. (Ask them if they know about Soul Retrieval or Inner Child work). The Soul Retrieval Journey takes you back in time to the past, helps you find the aspect of your Soul that has been stolen or is hidden and brings it back home to your adult self. There are specific steps and conditions for this process, so please seek qualified help.

After bringing that aspect of your Soul back, you need to cultivate a mothering, unconditionally loving relationship with it until it integrates to the rest of your Primary Identity. You do this by self-mothering.

RESOURCES: I am preparing a Soul Retrieval Online Private Session, so email me to get into the waiting list and I’ll email you when it’s ready. Also look at the Self-mothering Kit.

I hope this helps!

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet. She is also a spiritual teacher and an internationally known healer and shaman who helps you to achieve personal freedom, unlock your creative potential and live a life of magic and delight. She offers books, digital products and private guidance, art that heals and transforms as well as performances, speaking engagements and other live and online events to help you become the protagonist of your life and the creator of your destiny. Find out more at Catch the Dream Express.

If you want to flourish under Maria’s mentorship and guidance, visit http://www.dreamalchemist.com.

This material is the copyright of Maria Mar©2010. You can use this tip in your newsletter, blog or other digital media as long as you keep the copyright and biographical paragraph with the active link and send us notification.

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Sacred Mirrors

TODAY’S TIP: Sacred Mirrors

The world reflects you. You create Sacred Mirrors in which to see aspects of yourself that you disown or that need change or healing. Before judging or rejecting others, see the mirrors they present.

The more someone annoys you, the more urgent it is for you to see the mirror this person presents, even if it is magnified or distorted.

Two examples of Sacred Mirrors:

Mirror 1: Someone refuses to pay you or devalues your work. Observe the negative attitudes and beliefs of this person. How do they reflect hidden fears or devaluing that you may be doing to yourself or your work? Do you secretly feel that you are charging too much or that no one will buy what you offer? As you address this issue, you may gain valuable insight that can help you release financial self-sabotage.

Mirror 2: A peer leaves you hanging out in an activity you are organizing, after having confirmed. Examine the fears, expectations and perceptions that motivated this person to not honor her word. Perhaps she was afraid to compete with other professionals, to be unfavorably compared. Perhaps she thought that she had nothing to gain. Perhaps she over-committed herself. How do you engage in similar thoughts, fears or habits? (Even if you keep your word once you commit.) What did this person lose as a result of her expectations and fears? This understanding will allow you to see the invisible obstacles to your career progress.

Sacred Mirrors reveal what is now invisible to your psyche. They are a tool for evolution and freedom.

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Maria Mar(c)

You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, ceremonialist poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

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TOOLS:

Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit at:

http://www.catchthedreamexpress.com/toxicrelationships-self-help_kit.htm

Are you Self-centered? Good!

Are you Self-centered? Good!

By Maria Mar©

Art by Maria Mar(2)2000. No reproduction, copy or paste allowed.

Art by Maria Mar(c)2000.

Did you inherit a belief that being self-centered is selfish? What is left if you are not your own center? You become other-centered. This is how you are trained for toxic relationships.

What is your center? Your Soul.

What does it do?

  • It guides you in your Earth Walk, reminding you of your true nature and life purpose.
  • It replenishes your vital force through radiance, love, presence, self-love, self-healing, creativity and joy.
  • It sustains you when everything around you threatens to knock you down.
  • It harmonizes your being with the Universe through its Essence, like the fragrance of a rose harmonizes and heals you.
  • It defines your genuine values, giving meaning to your life.

When you lack this center, you make others your center. This is giving away your power and it leads you to living in fear, always afraid that your center will be taken away. When you are other-centered then you cannot love or care for others in a genuine way, because:

  • You follow them blindly, as you have no self-compass, but blame them because you always feel lost.
  • You become a vampire, sucking their life force, as you are dried and empty for lack of connecting to your Soul.
  • You lean on them heavily, becoming a burden, because you have no center to lean on yourself.
  • You create dissonance wherever you are, because you are alone, scared and separated and you cannot truly harmonize with others.
  • You follow other people’s values, are easily manipulated and lack meaning in your life, as you are hollowed because your Soul has been buried too deep and you do not feel your own substance.

Because of this, when you are other-centered, you are truly selfish, no matter how much you caretake others. You do it from a place of neediness and fear, not love.

Therefore, self-centerness is the opposite of self-absorption and selfishness.

Self-centerness is a state of love for yourself that allows you to love others from your center and meet them at a place where they also stand in their own center.

Light and love,

Maria Mar

The Dream Alchemist

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Maria Mar(c)

You can use this article in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational speaker, poet, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

No.1-Free from toxic relationships

TODAY’S TIP:

Free yourself from toxic relationships-Psychic Key No. 1. Do you want to be in control? You will become the slave of those you wish to control.
Does this help? Let me know! Leave your comment.

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Maria Mar(c)

You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and

copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher

who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

________________________

RESOURCES:

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

Release toxic emotions and learn to let go:

http://www.sedona.com

Facing envy and rejection

TODAY’S TIP:

Are you surrounded by friends and family who will not support your personal growth and dreams? When envy and cold shoulders are raised against your dream, it’s easy to brood and blame. Empower yourself with this question: How am I reproducing the role and dynamics that I learned in my family of origin?

  • Look at the people whom you have chosen as friends, bosses and lovers. What do they have in common?
  • Look at how you have responded to them. Are you playing the same role that you played in your family of origin?

For more information on Toxic Relationships and handling envy, rejection and sabotage, consider this resource:

The Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit

Love them, but LEAVE them

Toxic Relationships: Love Them, but LEAVE Them

Toxic Relationships: Love Them, but LEAVE Them

Does this help? Let me know! Leave your comment.
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Article copyright by: Maria Mar(c)2009

You can use this quote in ezines, web pages and other online media as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

What are your steps in the dance?

TODAY’S TIP:

What are YOUR steps in the dance? The first step to free yourself from toxic relationships, problems or obstacles is to assume your power as creator or co-creator. Ask yourself the following questions and be impeccable in your answers.

  1. How is this problem a consequence of my choices, actions, attitudes and responses?
  2. How does this toxic person or obstacle mirrors your beliefs, thoughts and feelings?
  3. Have I done this before? Is this part of a pattern or habit?
  4. How do I attract this type of situations or persons?
  5. How do I feed this type of situation or toxic relationship?

Observing yourself during a couple of weeks, asking good friends to remind you of similar situations and looking at past relationships and at your family’s dysfunctional patterns will help answer these questions. Write the answers in your journal.

Only when you can recognize your own steps in the dance can you change the dance because the ONLY steps you can change are yours.

Does this help? Let me know. Share a comment.

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Maria Mar(c)

You can use this quote as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!

Tips for Toxic Relationships

TODAY’S TIP:

Toxic Relationships. They are painful. They can drag on for years. They diminish your energy and sabotage your dreams and your self esteem. Here’s a head start:

  1. Understand what makes the relationship toxic.
  2. See the Sacred Mirror that this relationship presents. What is this person mirroring about you that you need to see. Find your Shadow Selves.
  3. Track down the feelings and beliefs that create your emotional attachment to this person.

I know. It’s easier said than done. Here’s help. I am working on the Toxic Relationships Self-help Kit as I speak. It will be ready by the end of August.

You can pre-order yours at: http://toxicrelationships.eventbrite.com

Toxic Relationships: Love Them, but LEAVE Them

Toxic Relationships: Love Them, but LEAVE Them

Recommend this blog post in a tweet, by clicking here

Click Here.

Maria Mar(c)

You can use this quote in ezines, blogs and web pages as long as you include my name and copyright mark and the paragraph below, with functional link:

Maria Mar is the Dream Alchemist, an inspirational poet, speaker, coach, author and spiritual teacher who helps women create the life of their dreams. Visit her at: Catch the Dream Express!